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Thursday, March 11, 2010

RAHMBO WASH! Rinse Away All Your Political Troubles!

Art by Jaime

Hi! Vince, here. I know I went a little nuts when I beat the hell out of that hooker in Miami. But I'm all better now, since the Democratic Party hired me. And boy have I got a product for you.

Having a tough time getting that last vote? Tired of making backroom deals only to see them evaporate and destroy your political career? Are you one step away from pushing your caucus over the cliff for the sake of a bloated government entitlement?

You won't be with RAHMBO WASH!

It's like a trip to Fort Marcy Park. It's like a drive over the Chappaquiddick with Ted Kennedy but without all the mess. It's like cheating on your taxes and getting away with it!

You see, regular poltical tricks don't work when 60 percent of the country wants your blood. This works scared or crazy ... even whenever selling your mother and strapping your children to the front of a locomotive just isn't enough.

This is for the Oval Office, the Blair House, Congressional chambers, your local townhall meeting!

RAHMBO WASH! cleans away twenty times the political troubles. Look at this! It turns a mild-mannered lameduck Congressmen into a ruthless lying flip flopper. It doesn't drip, doesn't make a mess. You water it down, lather it on Bart Stupak, and you've got your vote, abortion funding and all! And you don't even have to get naked with him in the shower!

It's made in Chicago, you know the Chicago Way always makes good stuff.

You can dump half into an old milk jug, use one to keep your no votes in line, use the other to convince a few Republicans to join your side!

SEIU workers, they use it grease elections. Look at that! Completely stolen! Here's a bill that hasn't been written, dump some Rasmussen polls, Republican nos, and tea bags on it. Now that is going to smell. See that?

The most cleansing thing -- now we're gonna do this in real time -- look at this! Douse it on the bill, turn it over! Without even putting pressure, fifty percent of it's back to the Senate for reconciliation. The other 50 percent, it's passed with every party member in line!

I don't know, it sells itself!

Now, here's what were gonna do, because we've been trying to sell this health care bill for a year, if you call within the next 20 minutes we'll throw in the RAHMBO Shower Gel and Scrubbie, both guaranteed to twist your adversary's arm, absolutely free! And we'll even give you a back shave.

You'll be saying I'll be getting cash with RAHMBO WASH! ever time.

Here's how to order.

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